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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

What do I do all day

This is a question I get asked a lot. I'm not sure if its because people get trapped by the words master/slave, or total power surrender or what. But it seems to be asked of those who call themselves slaves, more often than those who call themselves submissive. It as if it is more acceptable to be a sub than it is to be a slave. This never ceases to amaze me, though I suppose I should be used to it by now.

Some seem to think that being a slave is no different from being a sub and therefore their duties are clearly spelled out by the dominant and they end there. This is not true, as I am sure it is not true for all submissive either. Part of being a successful submissive or slave is having the desire to please your Master. This means in both the ways he orders you to and in ways that you simply notice he enjoys and then doing those things for him even though he did not ask you to. Many dominant like this initiative taking in their slaves. It shows that the slave truly is interested in pleasing the dominant before themselves. Can this be manipulated and used in a negative manner? Yes it can, but then so can just about anything in any relationship, vanilla or Buddhism.

So my day..Well my daily tasks are as follows:
  1. take care of my back
  2. straighten out at least one room in the house a day
  3. do 3 to 4 loads of laundry (washed dried and put away)
  4. balance the checkbook (once or twice a week)
  5. pay bills on payday (go over the bills I selected to pay with Master for his approval and make any changes he desires
  6. take good care of the children
  7. dress in a manner that is pleasing to him *usual means skirts and no panties*
  8. write in my journal or blog
  9. anything that Master adds and sometimes he does add things

Mostly my day is like most other people who are stay at home moms with 3 teenage daughters and an 8 yr old son. Lots of time is taken up caring for the kids, helping with homework, straightening out and all that stuff. So all of that is included.

For me however, the mental knowledge . No certainty, that everything I do is to please Master often make a difficult day a little easier. I try to remember that I am supposed to be pleasing him, and sometimes this stops me from making the common errors I made in the past like snapping at people for no reason, or getting angry for nothing at yelling at people. Both habits I so badly wanted to break. It seems I finally have. To watch me go about my daily routine you would have no idea that I was owned. The power exchange is subtle and quiet. It can get loud and overt if the situation warrants it, but most of the time it is simply this very quiet knowledge within myself that I belong to Master and that everything I do either must please him or have a really good excuse for not pleasing him.

Some think there is a magic potion, that somehow a bdsm relationship is more exciting, more thrilling day in and day out. The truth of the matter is, it isn't. Sure at first, there is a lot of that excitement that accompanies any newborn relationship. Of course this is intensified by the fact that the play is quite intense. For many, it is their first time playing, so possibly they see their partner as the only one who can ever make them feel this good and poof, love is born. But like any other relationship, that initial infatuation stage will wear off. Many take this to mean the relationship is over, but it isn't. So long as there are solid reasons for being together, those reason can step forward now and provide the basis to continue the relationship. Stuff like, major things in common, mutual agreement on many or most bdsm related issues, common view on religion, sports, etc. The belief that your partner is your best friend and you can turn to them for anything at any time. These are the marks of a true loving committed relationship in my opinion. And you need these basis in the relationship to take over when the infatuation/lust period wears off. I was lucky in that Master and I had a great foundation upon which to base the relationship when the infatuation wore off.

I do the same things everyone else does in real life. I shop, cook, clean, watch kids, and do what my Master tells me to do. If I fail, I confess it and expect punishment. That's abut it for what I do all day.