Another Week Goes By

Another week has gone by. Time just seems to fly by now that I have gotten older. I remember, as a kid, that it felt like time took forever and waiting a few weeks for something felt impossible. I guess this is something everyone has to deal with as they get older.

I have started to participate in my sub_den discussion list again. A friend of mine told me that maybe I kill the dicsussions because I give too much information in my replies, trying to cover all the bases, and thus leave people with nothing to reply too. I thought about that for a while and I think he was right. So I have been practicing not doing that, in the hopes that discussions will continue even after I post. I really disliked it that people seemed to stop replying other than to tell me how smart I am or some such. Many people over the past 11 years that list has been in operation have stated that they look up to me as a model slave (which makes me very uncomfortable) and as an expert on BDSM (which also makes me very uncomfortable). I am neither a model slave, nor am I an expert on BDSM.

I am the best slave I can be and I still make mistakes. I consider myself to be fairly knowledgeable about BDSM, but not an expert. There are many people out there who know a lot more than I do and have more varied experiences than I do. I've had 3 power exchange relationships, one that was abusive in part due to the situations around the relationship. My current relationship is now 10 years old and we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in December. So I do not have a lot of experience with play partners, play parties or things like that.

I've enjoyed s/m and b/d activities ever since I became consensually sexually active. They've just always been part of my fantasies and sexual activities from the start. But engaging in play activities is not the same as having served multiple dominants in a collared relationship. Of the three real life collars I have worn, I would have to say the first one wasn't even a dominant, though he was my husband at the time (now ex-husband).  So I get uncomfortable when people hold me up as some sort of bdsm guru or something.

Ahhh well on to the real life stuff now..

The new school year has started here in the South Eastern US. I am still home schooling my son as I did last year. So far, so good! He has done pretty well with doing all of the work I assign him. Even better I have done pretty well at actually teaching him, rather than giving him a list of stuff to do and telling him "Go to it! Ask me if you need help". I am not proud of myself for dealing with it in this manner last year. Part of it was the major depression I was struggling with. As I got treatment for that, I got better at being more actively involved. When I got more actively involved, the better my son did. So this year I have decided to be as involved as I can be, while still making him do the work.

I've been surprised at my response to being more actively involved. I thought I would be bored out of my skull, but instead I find myself enjoying it. We have had many great conversation about history and science, and a couple times about math. We did his annual review last week. This is when a teacher (currently working, retired, or substitute teacher) reviews his work for the year and decides whether he did enough work to pass the grade. HE PASSED! Both my son and I were very very happy to hear that. Not only did he pass but the teacher (currently licensed teacher in our school district) had only one comment for improvement of my home school program; to make him read more. So now he is required to read a book for 1 hour a day and upon completion of the book provide a small book report as proof (for the school district) that he actually read it.

Master has added keeping the boy child's school work to my daily list of tasks. This was at my request, as a way to help me not fall behind or give up. So far, I am doing very well and am proud of myself. Even moreso, I am very very proud of my son!

Other than school starting up again, nothing else has really been going on. Someone posted a comment on an old post I made about BDSM and disability. Thank you for your reply Lee, I appreciate knowing that this blog is still read occasionally by someone other than my master. I agree that disability does not remove the fact that one is submissive or dominant. For me, it just changes how things get done and we have to be more creative about things sometimes.

Well, until next time, Be well and play safe!