Wednesday

Today was an odd day. I have felt "off" all day. Probably because I was up all night and was expecting my brother to have a major surgery today. Master took him to the hospital but apparently while I was asleep he called to be picked up so my SIL picked him up. The doctor decided, after my brother was all prepped for surgery, that it didn't need to be done right away since my brother isn't having pain in his legs. So they sent him home. This, of course, wasn't what I was expecting to happen today and I was all set for surgery, visiting at the hospital and recovery and instead, none of it happened, so things feel a bit off.

I slept from 10AM to 1:45PM which doesn't help that feeling of things being off a bit LOL

There was no email today because Master was very busy as work with loads of running around outside of the office. But that's okay because he had told me last night what he wanted me to do today. He ordered me to take it easy because I was in a great deal of pain last night (which is partly why I was awake all night) and it was supposed to rain today which always makes me hurt more. So today was a "take it easy" kind of day.

Something interesting did happen though. I posted last night for the first time in a year in this blog. When I connected my yahoo IM to chat with my daughter (possibly..as she is away for a few weeks) I got a message from another slave. She had apparently found my blog and liked what I had posted, so she contacted me via IM. I've spent most of the afternoon chatting with her. She seems like a very nice woman and we have many things in common. We have experienced similar issues in relationships in our lives, we have similar hobbies (she likes to crochet, as do I), she is disabled and is the same age as me. Her master will be moving in with her next week and I wished her well. She sounds so very happy and excited about it! I wish them both well and hope that their relationship brings them both a lot of joy! So now I have a new friend to chat with and that will be cool.

I went over my son's school work (I homeschool him) today, started 1 load of laundry and emptied the trash under my computer desk but that was it. Mentally I want to do so much more now that the depression has lifted but right now I know I physically can't or I will end up in a pain crisis. I hate when this happens because it is very frustrating to have the conflicting desires battling it out in my head. I have a lot more energy (physically, mentally and emotionally) and this makes me want to do more things but I know I can't. So I've been trying to keep myself busy mentally and distract my mind from the things I can't do right now. Hopefully I will get the radio frequency redone in April or May, and then I can start doing more physically.

When master came home from work, we sat and chatted about his day for a little while. I really enjoy those few moments alone with him but we don't get them uninterrupted very often. Our niece, who is 2 years old, lives with us and if we close our bedroom door she gets upset. She'll knock on the door, try to open it (we have to lock it), yells our names and cries. I feel so guilty when I have no choice but to go to bed and close the door because it upsets her. I don't like scaring or worrying her, which me going to bed during the day does to her.

She wants to spend time with master and I, specially when master first comes home. She doesn't like it when I have to sit in bed duriung the day, instead of in the living room where she can get in my lap or easily get my attention. So when I have to go to bed, she screams and cries. I try not to show my pain around her as it scares her and I don 't want to scare her. But soemtimes I can't help it. If the broken bones in my SI joint rub together or pop/snap/grind it sends a sharp pain shooting through me that I don't expect which will cause me to cry out. She loves me, so she worries when that happens. Though it is really sweet and cute when she insists on someone taking her into the kitchen so she can get me an ice pack for my back. She'll give me a hug and a kiss and say "all better?". She is so cute!

Oh! There was one more thing I did today. I started an essay. Yesterday, before I posted, I went through the comment this blog has received and deleted all the spam ones. I came accross a comment that was posted anonymously (of course) attacking me, my master, and our lifestyle choices on the basis of religion. I didn't delete the comment either as that would be unfair. People who post their opinions in response to my posts have every right to air their opinion whether it agrees with my choices or not. Anyway, this made me think for a few moments and I typed my thoughts into MS Word, which of course resulted in the beginning of an essay. Hopefuly I will get it done soon and post it.

Well that was pretty much it for my day. My pain is up to an 8 so I'm going to go to bed and do some stitching!