Today's Happenings

Master has gone back to sending me emails every work day. These emails contain my tasks for the day. Today's tasks were to pick up the bedroom a little bit and move some laundry. I did both. I also did a bit more. I did some picking up in the dining room, including clearing and cleaning the table for dinner, sweeping the floor and I folded some laundry including all the towels. I also did some picking up from the master bathroom and living room. When my pain went up I stopped so I wouldn't over do it.

I've spent the last couple hours stitching in bed. I figured I would take a break from stitching and post in this blog. I am trying to increase my activities but I do have to be careful and not move too fast.



I enjoy getting a task email from him daily, even though my chronic pain makes it difficult for me to do a whole lot, having those few things to do assists in keeping my submissive side alive. The radio frequency procedure has worn off, so my daily pain level has gotten higher. With the higher pain level, my mobility decreases but I am trying to keep moving as much as I can. Since Master's number 1 rule for me is to not push my back or in any way hurt/harm myself, I have to be careful. It doesn't take much to increase my pain level. This effects me in different ways with the biggest being feeling uselessand feeling that I do not satisfy or please him as much as I want to. I try to remember that he will let me know if he is not pleased and that he will not lie to me by telling me he is pleased when he isn't. But that can be difficult to believe, specially when I am stuck in bed for a few days, or when my pain level will not allow me to play or make love. I am my own worst enemy and do a great job of mentally yelling at myself for the things I have percieved as having been wrong. I have gotten better than I used to be, but I do still come down on myself more than I should. This is something I continue to work on.



I consider myself very lucky to have such an understanding Master. One who doesn't demand that I do things that I can not physically do. One who doesn't demand I hurt myself or tell me I am useless, no good, and that he wants another slave because I am disabled. Sadly there are people out there that are not willing to be in a relationship of any sort with a disabled person and I find that to be very sad. I understand that people all have different wants, needs, likes, and dislikes, and what works for one person doesn't work for another but personally I find that such an attitude (disabled people are not relationship worthy type attitude) speaks volumes about the kind of person they really are. It is not a good thing in my opinion either.



It has been over a year since I have written in this blog. I am sorry about that, but it couldn't be helped. I spent most of last year in a deep depression. It ate up everything! I didn't want to write, stitch, or anything else. I did not realize just how bad it had gotten until after my father passed away last June (2009). I asked my doctor to change my medication and it took a while to get it done. I've been on the new medication for about 2 months now and I feel ever so much better! I no longer want to just sit in a chair staring at the TV and doing nothing that I am not directly ordered to do. I have more energy, I sleep better, and I am enjoying things again! It feels marvelous!



I am hoping to post to this blog at least once a week, if not more often. The goal for this blog was to give readers an idea of what living in a 24/7 m/s relationship could be like. I understand that everyone's relationship is different but I wanted to help people to realize that an m/s relationship still has to deal with all the regular every day stuff a vanilla relationship must deal with. I thought that in order to show this it would be a good idea to blog about my relationship with my Master.

Until next time, play safe and have fun!