Thoughts on recent events

Well, most people who know me, know I live in a household with 10 people in it. 2 are my kids, 2 are Master's kids, 2 are kids we picked up, 1 is Master's son's new wife, then master and myself and the nanny ayli. We are up to 6 cats (got two new kittens cuz master and I are softies LOL), 2 rabbits, 2 ferrets and a dog most of us don't really like. So our house is never quiet enough, or lacking people enough for us to play very often. Specially not playing hard because we have to keep the noise down. heck, the kids think we are making love or playing if we are simply giggling or laughing and the door is closed. this can be so very very annoying sometimes. Anyway, last night for the first time in months, ALL the kids (except the youngest) were GONE! YAY!! Luckily, the youngest was asleep so we closed and locked the bedroom door and for the next hour and half, we had a great deal of fun without thinking about noise levels or anything or anyone else. I know I really really needed that. Master said he did too.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about things recently. Mostly because I have noticed some changes in myself and in master that make me think. Master has certainly grown as a dominant and a master over the past year. He more easily accepts the fact that he enjoys being served, without feeling guilty for it. He accepts and enjoys the fact that sometimes he just wants to make me go "ow!" without feeling guilty or feeling as if he is abusing me. He demands more of me on a daily basis than he did before. Not so much in task areas, but in areas of behavior. The biggest being my mouth. I am quite sarcastic and a smart ass. I am real good at one liners and comebacks. Most of the time I am very good at knowing where the line is between funny and too much. But Master has recently moved that line backwards a bit, so I reach "too much" a bit faster than before. The most interesting part of this is my reaction to it. I kind of expected to be upset somehow if or when he tightened the reins on me. I have gotten used to having a lot of freedom, though I didn't really like it. Over the past year, he has pulled back how much freedom I have. So I expected to be upset by it or worried about it. But I'm not either one. Instead I find that I am happier, calmer, more focused and centered within myself. It just feels right.

As a result my desires to please and to serve have simply grown stronger. Sometimes the intensity of them does scare me, but it is not a huge amount of fear. Its just a fleeting fealing that doesn't last more than a few seconds. Woops. Matser wants the computer. I'll try to finish later or tomorrow.