I've had a rough week with my back, but its finally calmed down so here I am again. This will be a first, 2 posts within 2 weeks. WOW! Most of the time I have no clue what to say. People seem to think that living a 24/7 power exchange relationship is exciting every day, but it isn't. Its like any other long term relationship, things become "normal", they become "just what we do" and often we don't even think about why we do them that way anymore. We just do. This doesn't mean we are bored with each other or anything, because we're not. It does mean that the spark that exists in a new relationship has gone away, which happens in every relationship.
People ask me if I still get in trouble. Yes I do, from time to time. I got in trouble last Saturday as a matter of fact. Master had ordered me to not do anything, to stay off my feet. I was up early last Sat. with my son, and having not slept Friday night I was very tired. So I started doing stuff to keep myself awake. Nothing major like moving furniture, but I wasn't staying off my feet. My back wasn't as bad as it had been the day before, and I didn't even think about what he had ordered me to do. He caught me ironing a binding on a latch hook that one of the girls had done and wanted finished as a pillow. As soon as I saw the look on his face, I knew I was in trouble. Then I remembered I wasn't supposed to be doing anything. This is one of the two ways that I most often get in trouble, forgetting something because my mind is too focused on something else, or opening my mouth and talking without thinking first. I am glad that it is not often that I get in trouble. Knowing I have done something wrong, let him down, makes me feel very very bad. It is the worst part about being in trouble. It is the part that makes it possible for a corporal punishment to be a punishment despite the fact that I usualy enjoy pain when we play. The mindset is very diferent between a punishment scene and a play one.
This past week has been rather boring because I did have to spend most of it off my feet and I really hate doing that. It makes me irritable and upset, and half the time I am not even sure why. Mostly its because I feel useless just sitting on my duff and doing nothing. I really hate having to give in to my back, it always strikes me as unfair. But Master takes my back very seriously. Thankfully he has also reached a point where he balances it better so that I don't feel like I am being treated like glass. There are many things that I can still do, but there are also things I can't do and finding the balance between the two is often an ongoing process.
Master is currently asleep, so I've taken the opportunity to catch up on my email. Finally got that done. I've done a great deal on the web site, and am just waiting for the pictures I need to finish the band site, and start really getting that done.
Well that's about all I can think of to write.
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