Arguing in master/slave?

Yes, arguing, as in fighting. People seem to think that having a power exchange relationship of any sort, stops any and all arguing that would occur otherwise. This just is not true. People eventually argue, the dynamics of the relationship does not stop the argument. It may provent it from occuring for a while, but sooner or later it will happen. Being a slave makes me no less human than the next person. There are things that agravate me, upset me or get on my nerves. From time to time master and I have disagreements, and once in a while we have out and out fights. Its been a little over a year since our last huge fight, which we had this weekend. I really hate it when we fight like that. Its always a combination of things that just finally became too much for me and the fight was on. Knowing that I started the fight makes me feel quite guilty.

Its really late so I won't go any further than this for now. I need to get some sleep.

That damn "abuse" accusation

I've been involved in bdsm online for almost 9 years now. I run mailing lists and a very large web site. I have changed as a slave over time. I have made many mistakes that are quite common for people when they first get involved in bdsm. Its kind of odd considering that I already incorporated pain play into my sex life and always had. The earliest fantasies I remember included things like bondage and spanking. I had some terminology and some idea of what was included in bdsm beyond the play activities, but I had far from enough knowledge to know about the many variants that are found in the bdsm lifestyle. One of the mistakes I made, and it is a common mistake for novice submissives, is I tried to model my personal bdsm relationship after what someone else considered to the "right". Of course it did not work. Eventually I realized that bdsm is a highly personalized thing, that each relationship is different and must be adjusted/created to best fit the people involved rather than to match up with someone else's idea of what is correct bdsm and what isn't, or what makes a good submissive and what doesn't.

Today, yet again, I came accross the belief that anyone who does not use a safeword is unsafe and any dominant who prefers to not use a safeword is abusive and any sub or slave who goes along with a dominant's preference to not use a safeword is an abuse victim, not a submissive or slave. This viewpoint bothers me because it is not true. I will have to write more tomorrow. I am falling asleep.