WOW! I haven't blogged in a while. LOL Ohhh well, things have been rather busy around here with Christmas shopping, preparing for a trip home, kids concerts, reading, talking, and adjusting to the tick list Ron set up for me. It's been a very interesting and event filled month.

Earlier in the month I had spoken with the district attorney in Mass about interviewing my daughter again for possible prosecution of her father who molested her. The DA told me that if I got her up there, they would prosecute. They lied. They called me back today to tell me that no matter how well she does in the interview there is no way they will prosecute the case. They said they believe they have no chance of winning the case with a jury and thus they won't pursue. This crushed me, I was so upset. The hardest part was not crying on the phone with the lady, or losing my temper and tearing her a new asshole, which I desperately wanted to do. But I behaved myself, then I got off the phone and started crying, almost panicking. I wanted to scream, run, anything and everything. It hurt me so much to be told that basically this son of a bitch will get away with what he did to his daughter, and the hell we have lived with for the last 6 and a half years. That he gets to continue living accross the street from an elementary school, and remain free. He doesn't have to pay anything or in any way for the torture he put my daughter through. God but that hurts. I guess I had my hopes up higher than I realized. The worst part was calling Deb and telling her that they won't prosecute for Sam. I know she was hoping they would so Dennis would go to jail and thus pay for what he did to both of her sons. We all thought the case for Sam was so strong, which is what the DA told me and told her. In fact, they told Deb that if I brought Sam to Mass they would prosecute, that they were dying to get their hands on Sam's case because it would put Dennis in jail for up to 40 years with a conviction of Child Rape. They told her this a month ago! What the hell changed in that month? And why is it so fucking hard for the victims in these cases to get the justice they deserve? It just is not fair at all. Not for the kids, or their families who have to suffer through all of this shit for nothing. I felt horrible when I told Sam about it, but I knew that I had to tell Sam. She had to know. my prayers now are that she won't blame herself for them not prosecuting, that she won't think she did something wrong in the earlier interviews or in the past few years that made them unable to prosecute. So far, she doesn't seem to be feeling that way, but I will be keeping my eyes open just in case.

My thought on the decision not to prosecute is that the DA just doesn't want to put forth the effort that would be neccessary to get a conviction in the case. I believe this because of the constant insistence that the case is "too complicated". Well duh! Then I remember that they prosecuted Dennis for the boy who was molested at the same time my daughter was, and either kid could be a collaberating eye witness for the other. But the DA didn't call my daughter as a supporting witness, and the whole thing never went to trial as Dennis took a plea and admitted guilt. That case was literally done with no supporting evidence, with a child who was discussing abuse that took place 5 years before, and that he denied ever having taken place for those entire 5 years. That denial alone could have gotten Dennis a "not guilty" verdict, but they prosecuted anyway and won. But they won't take a case that has physical evidence, an eye witness, psychological evidence, and all that to court. It just doesn't make sense, it really doesn't. I don't understand, and I don't think it's fair. I'm just so fucking upset it isn't funny anymore.

I have decided that since I can't get the pedophile convicted for raping his own daughter, I will hurt him the only way I can, money. He has not paid me child support since 1996, and he is court ordered to pay 92.00 per week. So I have contacted the department of revenue child support enforcement in Massachusetts and will be receiving a packet that will put a file in their offices for Dennis as a dead beat Dad. I do know taht Mass will jail him and set his bail at the exact amount of the child support that he owes me, and he won't make bail until he pays the full amount. The DOR will include interest on this child support, but the basic amount is over 22 thousand dollars. So he will have to pay at least that much to get out of jail. And I will take the money, and use it to buy me a car and put a new roof on the house, two things that the family needs. After he pays the arrears he will then be stuck providing the DOR with 92 a week so they can send it to me. I will use the money to retain an attorney here in Florida and file for recovation of his parental rights based on non-support and child sexual abuse. At taht time, I will also file for a legal name change for Samantha since she no longer wants to be called by his name. She hates him. I know this kind of "pay back" is not exactly what I wanted, but the man should pay in some way for the damage he has done. But I am also so very tired of the whole thing and part of me just hopes he keels over and dies for no reason. That would be a great benefit to the world.