I am so tired of waking up in pain. I open my eyes in the morning and my legs won't move. When they finaly do, pain shoots down my left leg and just burns my whole pelvis. The doctor says it's "normal" and "to be expected" and basically to just live with it. For about 15 minutes most mornings, I have to lay still and slowly move my legs a bit at a time, loosening them up. Then I immediately have to eat something in order to take my medication without getting sick. On the mornings when this pain is inordinantly bad (usually the morning after I've played or made love with Master) I end up starting the day out cranky. I don't like that and I try so hard not to get cranky but it doesn't work all the time. I just get so damn sick of waking up in pain. I feel like I am 90 years old or something and I'm only 31. I know, pity party for one and it's useless. Most of the time, I keep my feelings to myself but sometimes I just can't help but vent a little about it. People who do not live with chronic pain really don't understand what it's like, though they can make guesses. It is very wearing to be in pain all the time, and to be on medication just to control the pain enough so you can walk and do light housework. Oh well, I needed to vent, now I feel a little better.
The MM is being a real brat so far today. I wonder why his worst days always seem to coincide with my back's worst days too? It could just be my perception is off because I'm in pain. Or it could be the coffee the kid stole from arella this morning. He actually tried to put one of the cats in the washing machine!! Then looked at me and said "I do nuffin!" like he was innocent when arella caught him red-handed. This child is going to drive me to the insane assylum or something. He seems to have calmed down a little so maybe the caffeine is wearing off, least I can hope for that much. Hopefully the rest of my day gets better from here.