I had a great day yesterday. I finally decided what I was going to do with the anger and pain I was feeling. I created a section on my web site about abuse. I also created a blog to be used specifically for that section. In there I will release my anger and my pain. I also hope to be able to make that section a place that shows both the truth about abuse, and that it can be healed from. Thus showing that just because a person is abused, it does not mean their life is ruined. I do hope, that the section manages to do that. Anyway, the decision to do it made me feel ever so much better. But what really made my day was some things that happened with Master and I. He sent me an email, telling me to be prepared for him that he was on his way home, and to follow the directions he had mentioned the night before as a possible future order. Those directions were for me to kneel on the bed, naked, wearing my collar and the wrist cuffs. Unfortunately I could not follow his orders completely because I had just given ayli (arella) the OK to go lay down for a while. (She wasn't feeling well) I hesitated not sure if I should wake her up or not, and then decided it was too late. He had sent the email 25 minutes before, and I knew it took him 30 minutes to get home. By the time I got the email I only had 5 minutes. So, I got as close to his orders as I could. I had already followed his "no panties" rule so I knelt on the bed, wearing the collar (no cuffs) in a rather long loose skirt. He came in and seemed very pleased to see me there. I told him immediately that I was sorry, but ayli was asleep and I had to watch Kyle. He came over to the bed, sat in front of me and hugged me. Telling me basically that it was the fact that I followed his order as best I could that he was looking for. I had been telling him that I was having trouble being obedient and I wasn't sure why and I felt very guilty. So he decided to test me, not in any way to punish me if I did not obey, but to prove to me that I can indeed be obedient and do things to please him. We started talking, and it was a very warm emotional moment, that I wanted so badly to enjoy but Kyle ran in and wanted his tickle war since Master was home. No problem, I love watching Master play with Kyle. It's so sweet!! The other thing that happened that made me feel real good, was Master gave me a task to do. He handed me a bunch of papers and asked me to type them into MS Word,using tables. I did it in a couple hours. This really pleased him because I had saved him a few hours working time with my faster typing speed. This made me feel really good because I love making things easier for him.

We watched the election results come in. And it amazed me with how close the race was. And it figures, a recount has become neccessary. LOL All in all, I am beginning to feel better, more focused again and a lot less scattered. I really like that. So far, today has gone well. I've done some work on the web site. Hopefully I can get the things I want done completed soon. But it seems that every time I start, a whole bunch of things come up that need done. Graphics that aren't linked right. Typos or spelling errors. New submissions of articles and such. Which is great because I want to present more than just my own point of view. So it never fails that when I sit down to do things that I listed as needing to be done, I end up doing a whole lot more than that. LOLOL Honestly though, I really enjoy it. The web site is taking shape in a way that I am very proud of. And I guess I should be proud, it certainly is a well rounded web site within it's current narrow margins. I want to have some articles on female domination and male submissives, but so far, I haven't found any that I consider to be educational. But I am still looking. Now watch, I'll find abunch of great articles and not be able to reach the author for permission to use them,and thus I won't be able to put them up. But I can hope that it doesn't work out that way. Femdom/malesub is a viable aspect of the BDSM lifestyle and I want it represented on my site. But I want it represented in a classy way. I'll keep looking and who knows, maybe I'll find something soon. I hope so :)

Well I'm going to stop for now. Later :)