I think the time has come for me to go see the neurosurgeon again. This painful stuff when I wake up just keeps getting worse. It is centered around the L4-5 area where I have the degenerated disk. I wake up, and my lower back just doesn't want to move and when I do move it, it hurts like hell for like 30 minutes or so. I'm afraid of seeing the neurosurgeon because I know they are going to want to remove the disk and fuse the two vertebrae. I don't want another surgery. I'm so tired of surgery and recovery and all that shit. But getting up is just so very painful. My left leg won't move, my right leg twitches, my entire lower torso burns with pain and the area directly around the disk does not want to be touched at all. The muscles all feel like they haven't been moved in years, not just a few hours while I was sleeping. It's really weird, and very scary.

Well time to go fold some laundry.

Things to make you smile: love, baby giggles,satisfaction of a job well done, music, stillness, grass growing and birds singing..