why is it that I always do my best thinking and writing late at night? I was writing in my journal, the handwritten one, about my day and how I was feeling. And it developed into stream of thought on appreciation, submissives and slaves differences in this area, and how the little things can often mean so much. I guess discussing how much I appreciate hearing from master that he is pleased by the things I've been doing caused me to become inspired. So I figured I'd come and type my thoughts in here.

I often tell people that it is the little things that make a difference to people. So far, that statement remains true in my opinion. For me, it is the little things that mean so much. They are the things that mke me proud. Things that give me warm fuzzy feelings. Things that cause me to react in a very service orientated manner. Knowing that master appreciates the things that I do makes me want to continue doing them and causes me to strive to do more for him. Knowing that he likes the house better now, that it feels more comfortable to him, that he finds it a pleasure to come home to it after work, makes me feel very proud and very happy because I pleased him. But it also makes me feel like I am doing the right service stuff. I strive then to keep the house clean (the last couple days, doing what I can, though ayli still does the majority of the cleaning) and comfy for him to come home to. (he said he likes to see the counter clean and empty at night, so for two nights in a row, I did the dishes and the counter was clean and empty, also he likes to not have a mountain of clean clothes waiting to be folded, so I've tried to keep up with the laundry and get it folded and put away before it piles up too high, ayli does the majority of clothes washing, so it evens out that I do the folding.) To many people this does not seem like a big deal, but to me, as a service sub it is. I don't expect him to tell me every night that the house looks great, but I do like hearing it. Noticing and commenting on the many things I do, once in a while, creates a great motivation within me to continue doing those things and to do more. It prevents the feelings of futility as if I were throwing my energy into a bottomless pit and achieving nothing. Giving positive feedback is such a little thing, but it can effect so many areas that it becomes a big thing. Though I think for me, it means so much more due to the fact that I don't feel 100% secure in my abilities anymore, and was having such a hard time for a few days there.

Everyone likes to know once in a while that their efforts are appreciated. No one likes to feel that they are taken for granted. This goes for subs too, I think. Some seem to think that a sub does not require appreciation. That the sub has a bottomless well of selflessness. I do not think that is true for everyone, but especialy not for those who's relationships include romantic love. Being taken for granted will eventually cause the sub to stop giving as much and they may not even know why. However, I do realize that in those relationships that do not have romantic love as a major part, it may take a lot longer before the sub stops giving as much because a certain level of indifference will be expected. Slaves however, are a whole different ball game. Many of them say that the silent acceptance of their owner is enough appreciation for them. Basically the abscence of any displeasure/complaints is automatically taken as acceptance at the very least, and appreciation/pleasure at the most. I'm not so sure that living something like that day in and day out would neccessarily work. I mean, there has to be a point where the absence of positive feedback/appreciation would breed resentment and anger. I know that for me, in some areas, I don't need anything verbal as feedback. My written journal is a perfect example. Master's silent acceptance of the words written within it are acceptance and appreciation of my efforts to fulfill the task of journal entries on a daily basis. Once in a while it is nice to hear master say he is pleased that I write in it, but I don't need it. His silent acceptance of it is a kind of appreciation in and of itself. An appreciation of my thoughts, feelings, confusions, fears, likes, dislikes, ups and downs, an acceptance of the person I am with all my quirks and faults. I like that.

But now I wonder. Can a slave truly be satisfied without any verbal appreciation or acceptance of their efforts at all? I honestly do not think so. I think their tolerance levels for silent appreciation is higher, especially if they are very secure in their own abilities. To them, the body language of their owner may be the feedback they need. But I can't help but think that eventually this lack of verbal feedback will cause problems. Probably the first to appear would be doubt. The slave doubting that their owner is indeed pleased with their service. Though, I guess it would depend on a lot of things. Like what are the emotions involved, if any? Is the relationship based solely on service without any romantic love? I can see how it might work. But I keep thinking that were a slave to be required to do the majority of household chores, always be available for the owner 's sexual use, and relinquish all control to their owner, yet be basically ignored outside of direct orders with no verbal appreciation or acceptance, that the slave would eventually stop serving because to do so would cause them more harm than anything else. A person can only give so much, without getting anything in return, before the very concept of giving becomes harmful to their mental health. Giving constantly, without ever hearing that what you are doing is appreciated, will cause erosion of self esteem. So why is it that so many online slaves say they do not ever need such feedback from their owners? Do they truly mean it? Or are they unaware of just how difficult it would be to be treated totally like a peice of furniture all the time? I honestly don't know. Or is it taken as a "given" in the m/s relationship that the dominant must give some kind of appreciation to the slave? I mean, in a healthy relationship, such feedback is a given. A healthy relationship includes appreciation of what each person involved does on a daily basis. It may not be spoken about every day, but once in a while the compliments are given. Those few words "You did a good job" or "I like that", can mean so much. I just find it very hard to believe that people can live completely without knowing that they do a good job, without hearing it from time to time. Maybe I'm just not capable of understanding a slave.

I don't see a dominant being less of a dom for telling their sub that they appreciate what the sub does. I can see where certain things become mundane and thus taken for granted over time, like laundry. But even then, when the sub does something a little extra, those few words can be priceless. I can also see where the sub stating to the dom that they are aware of what the dom does, and that they appreciate it is a small thing that is in fact a big thing. People like to know they are doing things right. Especially a service oriented submissive. In their case, their focus is on pleasing the dominant. If they do not ever hear that they are pleasing the dominant, it can be a major problem. Causing the sub to believe they are a rotten sub and don't make the dom happy. I don't know, interesting thoughts though.

Service subs tend to be thought of as nothing more than a maid. This is true from a certain point of view. But not everyone views service as being only housework and things of that nature. There are so many ways to service one's dominant. For me, yes housework is part of my service to him because I can't work. So instead, the house is my job and I do what I can to make the house a warm, comfortable, welcoming place that he feels good about coming home to and feels he can relax in it. I do my best to serve him in other ways as well, such as sexual needs (of course), s/m play areas, listening to him when he needs someone to talk to or someone to bounce ideas off of, giving him backrubs when his back is sore and he'll let me rub it. Making sure he gets his dinner on the night's he works late and is not home by dinner time. Having a fresh pot of coffee waiting for him when he gets home. Things like that are part of service as well, least in my opinion. It's not just cleaning, it's anticipating his desires and meeting those desires without being ordered to. Like the coffee, I know he likes to have a cup of coffee after dinner in the evening, especially if it was a long work day for him. SO rather than wait until he asks me or ayli to make a pot, I've taken to starting a fresh pot about 10 minutes before he is due home. That way, the coffee is already there when he wants it, and it isn't so old that it's nothing more than coffee flavored mud. It is things like this that are considered to be service. I've always enjoyed doing little things like that for others, and most of the time quiet acceptance is enough for me to know it's appreciated. But I do still need to hear the words once in a while. I think needing to hear the words comes from knowing that in order to thank someone for doing something, you have to first aknowledge what they did, then thank them. In the case of service things, when I receive a compliment or thank you, I know that it means master has noticed what I did and why I did it and that he was pleased by what I did. For him to say so, means he is aware of what I do. I think it's that awareness that matters the most. It means that what I do is not taken for granted.

well my mind seems to have wound down, so I'll post this and go to bed. :)